This is my favorite day of the year. I love celebrating my birthday and I always wake up infused with the magic and possibilities of creation, the wonders of birthing a new me.
This day, this season, is when I feel the energy of planting seeds. What I begin will show me its harvest six months from now, around the time of the Spring Equinox.
As I reflect over the past year, and particularly over the last seven years relative to transiting Saturn as it aspects my natal Moon, I feel my completion on many levels. I have felt the “cycles within cycles,” more palpable than I can ever remember feeling them before. I attribute this to my deep dive into the realms of astrology and the Divine Beauty of Great Mystery…and with that, my activation of a more conscious participation with my relationship to It and Me.
This past year has felt like a grand culmination of my entire life, my first 47 years. My mantra has been about letting go, releasing, endings, death. While my natal Moon/Jupiter in Sag holds the space of optimism for me, my enthusiastic and expanding place of vision and possibilities, it has been challenging to manifest the new, fiery creative impulse bubbling up inside of me, not quite ready to come to a boil. I’m excited to taste that full heat and I know it is arriving soon…very soon!
For now, the message has been about freedom (Uranus), about a reclamation of my Feminine Power (Venus Return) and about taking the elixir I have distilled (Pluto), out into a larger community (Jupiter/AC Cap and Venus Return/MC, Mercury). I look forward to sharing my medicine with you!
September 5, 2007. I am sitting with my partner of two years in our couple’s therapy session. I have been struggling with ending this relationship for months now. I do not feel I have the strength I need to walk away, without the support of our therapist. I need a witness. I need the safety and the container of this sacred space. I need her help.
I tell my partner that I have been trying to gain a stronger sense of my own power, within our relationship. Nonetheless, I keep hitting that proverbial wall. I have been swimming upstream for way too long and I am tired. I have no energy left. My batteries are drained. I know no other way to get back my power, unless I leave. I want to end the struggle. I want to let go, and flow…the waters of life want to carry me in their most natural way…downstream, and I want to go with them. I have to surrender.
On that day, I had forgotten I was eleven days into my sixth Venus Return Cycle. I was aware that I had been in an eleven month Uranus initiation to my natal Moon, and knew that if I tried to hold on, it would get harder. Uranus to my Moon. Time to change. Whatever I had been holding onto in a fixed place inside of me, in my mental construct of “reality,” Uranus was instructing me it was time to let go, surrender and trust. Trust I was being taken where I needed to go. No holding on…to anything, is what it felt like. Freedom from my past habits, patterns, addictions (Moon). Liberation from the prisons of my mind. Time to loosen the attachments and re-wire. Whatever part of me was still in shackles, I needed to unchain myself. I needed to steal some new fire. I needed to awaken…to a new me.
On August, 25, 2007, Venus made her new statement of intent to take me and the world stage, into an intimate look at the goddess as she shows herself in Leo. Radical self-love is her loudest message to me as she expresses herself through that archetype. Radiant light and power. The energy of the Sun itself. No shame about shining. Unabashed brilliance and expression. The fiery flame of creativity. She shines like this, giving me her energy. I cannot live on this earth without her. I need her light to sustain me. I put her on my altar, bow and pray to her, expressing my gratitude. I know I will have 584 days to deepen my relationship with her. To glean her medicine. I will have to let her die first, in the old form of our relationship. She will take me through a descent, to the underworld, and then back out again. I will rise with a new understanding, another level of integration. The journey will be perilous, but it is one I must take.
On a more personal level, the initiation is about my own Venus in Libra, the goddess as she expresses herself in partnership. The current mystery school Libra is exploring is one of conscious, equal partnership. The old days of hierarchy and relationships ruled by class, social and political structures, are attempting to break down. Relationships born out of an authoritative and power rank, wanting to dissolve. Libra is investigating co-creation at its best. The high ideals around equality in relationship.
I want this. I cannot keep giving away my authority, my power, in relationships. I want shared power. As first time Libra, there are minefields. I will often give up parts of myself, my own truth, because I know I have to learn to consider someone else. Where the give and take occurs, where the balance and harmony of the two create a conscious union, I am being given another opportunity to evaluate. The masculine and feminine parts of me, want to integrate on a deeper level. A new experience of wholeness. I am after the Sacred Marriage. I know it must first take place within me. My Beloved is mine and I am His. The physical form of that sacred union surely must follow. I am committed to finding me and finding him.
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For further reading and investigation into the current Venus in Leo cycle, check out these excellent articles written by Shamanic Astrologers Cayelin K. Castell, Carol Ann Ciocco and Kathryn Morgan. Shamanic Astrology Related Articles
The summit shines in its glory before me
seeing the peak, I start to climb
thinking I know what steps to take
unaware of what lies ahead
I begin my ascent
breath by breath
moving toward that longed for bliss
the light of heaven
my goal in sight
But clouds begin to cover and
a storm now blocks my view
even so, onward I proceed
knowing my destination
The path I once thought so clear
brings new surprises
it dawns on me
I’m not so sure
What can I rely on?
who will be my guide?
will I make it?
where is it I was going?
I remember where I wanted to go
but I no longer know how I will get there
I have no choice but to move carefully
knowing the power of this force
knowing I must honor, respect and revere it
My conviction to attainment
will undoubtedly lead me there
what will happen between
Here and There
Is a beautiful, wild Mystery
–Evening musing, January 20, 2006
The New Moon finds itself on Tuesday at 6 degrees of Scorpio, within one degree of the fixed star Khambalia at 7 Scorpio. On Anne Wright’s comprehensive website describing The Constellation of Words, she says, “Khambalia is a coptic (Egyptian) word meaning ‘Crooked-clawed,’ and is thought to be the same device which we call the Swastika, whose ancient symbolism contained the idea of secret knowledge, accessible to us, but only if one knows the way to get to it. The word Shambala has a similar root and meaning; so has the pentagram and the Arabic word for five, Khamsa, all deriving from the same piece of mystique. Khamr, wine, also has a connection, often being a symbol for ‘the secret of life,’ ‘the spirit,’ as well as a means to enter a transcendental (or just inebriated) state of consciousness.”
As I prepare to work ceremonially with the New Moon, I am once again astounded (though by now, I don’t know why!) at the incredible synchronicity of my personal process in alignment with the planets and stars, not only in my natal chart but in the particular New Moon Scorpio/Khambalia activation occurring now. Natal Venus at 29 Libra, sitting near my Neptune in Scorpio, at 7 degrees, right there with Khambalia, making a statement about my ongoing, obsessive dream, a highly idealistic vision and desire for a mystical, blissful union with myself, with another (my partner) and with others (generally). Living in a harmonious, illuminated way, connecting deeply to the mysteries of life. That union of opposites again. The integration of heaven and earth, spirit and matter. I understand more fully now, why it won’t let me go.
By the full moon in Taurus, or shortly thereafter, I will have left Utah and made my way toward California, spending four to five months there before heading to my ultimate destination (for now), The Big Island of Hawaii. My diligent efforts to connect with my spiritual/psychological Shambala, are leading me home to my physical one. It has been nearly two years since I “remembered” the next piece of why I came here and what I wanted to do, even though the details were still blurry and the “how” another mystery. Two years of knowing I was leading myself to something that I had been dreaming about for what feels like my whole life in many ways. I had only the vague remembrance of my heart’s desire, and a determination to follow it. How I would lead myself home to myself (and to Hawaii) has been a fantastic 22 month and still counting journey. I’m still following the signs, gathering information and finding the next clues on this amazing treasure hunt adventure!
For more information on the mystical kingdom of Shambala (or Shambhala), check out Crystal Links.
In a classic scene from the film Jerry Maguire, the lead character, Jerry (Tom Cruise), walks into a living room filled with a circle of women processing about their relationships with men, and finds his wife Dorothy (Renee Zellweger). After having a successful night in his professional career, Jerry realizes the separation from his wife has left him missing something he has not experienced before.
Jerry: ”…tonight, our little project, our company had a very big night – a very, very big night.
But it wasn’t complete, wasn’t nearly close to being in the same vicinity as complete, because I couldn’t share it with you. I couldn’t hear your voice or laugh about it with you.I miss my – I miss my wife.
We live in a cynical world, a cynical world, and we work in a business of tough competitors.
I love you. You — complete me. And I just had –
Dorothy: Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at hello. You had me at hello.
With a preponderance of Libran energy in my natal chart, I immediately resonate with Jerry’s desire to share his victory with his wife, to hear her voice and laugh about it with her. While sharing our life’s experiences with others is a natural drive in our human existence, Libra wants to share it primarily with a partner. But as I watch Jerry vulnerably admit he is not whole without Dorothy, I am annoyed at this regressive and outdated notion that we need a partner to be complete. At the same time, I feel a tug of ambivalence in the Libran part of my psyche.
The now unpopular relationship paradigm of being only half without a partner, stirs up a familiar part of me deeply felt in the earlier years of my life. This driving force was a compulsion and I defined myself largely by who I was with, feeling lost when I wasn’t in a relationship. Years of devoted attention to my inner work, has taken me further away from this former longing I had for being with my other half to experience myself as whole. Being in these relationships I desperately sought, my co-dependence and the resulting pain of it, led me to explore parts of myself I had longed for, taking me closer to an integration of these aspects within myself. Now, I still want a partner, I just don’t need one to feel complete.
From the Shamanic Astrology viewpoint, the Libra mystery school and training includes a key concept that relationship itself is THE path to God, or in other words, it is viewed as the highest spiritual path. Being in a committed partnership and working with another person over a period of time in a conscious relationship, is the fastest path to “waking up.”
One of the primary ways Libra expresses itself is through couple consciousness, and thus, the quest for a soul mate or twin flame and the mythological theme that if a person could find the RIGHT partner, they would live “happily ever after,” is deeply felt within the psyche of those with strong natal placements in this sign.
Underneath this drive for the other, is the Libran objective to be in a constant process of refining awareness of oneself, through interaction with a primary partner and as well other people on a whole. The essence of Libra is that you discover more about yourself and who you are, through the eyes of another person you bond with.
In Shamanic Astrology, the current exploration for the Libra mysteries includes an investigation into the questions, “What is the nature of relationship and partnership? What is non-hierarchical, conscious equal partnership?” Libra training involves becoming a master of relationship.
The archetypal expressions of Libra include: The Wife, The Husband, The Partner, The Goddess Hera/Juno, The Peacemaker, The Diplomat, The Negotiator. Carolyn Myss, an author who has brought archetypal themes into the mainstream culture, adds to this list: The Lover, The Advocate, The Companion, The Judge, The Counselor, The Co-dependent, The Mediator, The Unrequited Lover, The Victim, and The Politician.
Libra is designed to do the most processing with their partner. Having an argument or being in conflict is just as valid as having everything run smoothly, because it is part of the learning process. Through constant creative interchanges with an equal partner Librans learn more about themselves. If you are investigating the Libra mystery school, one of the ways you love yourself is by knowing it is totally legitimate to have a desire to be with a partner who can clearly state, without coercion, the relationship is his or her number one priority. Being with a partner who really wants to work on relationship, who sees it as a process oriented thing is a necessary requirement for this energetic expression.
In a Sun Magazine interview entitled, Men Are From Earth And So Are Women, Jungian analyst, Marion Woodman, discusses the concept of the inner marriage of the true masculine and the true feminine (James Kullander, August, 2006). The renowned author and speaker emphasizes the importance of long-lasting intimate relationships, as a means of personal growth and spiritual development.
These deep bonds of commitment give us a tremendous opportunity to integrate unconscious aspects of ourselves that we project onto the other. The parts of us we reject, because we don’t like them, as well as what we admire in another that we have yet to fully value within ourselves. She says if both partners want to stay together, they will have to go through the process of withdrawing their projections and grow into a mature love. In this type of love, we are given the chance to accept the reality of another versus the archetypal, divine energy that projections carry, turning our partner into Gods and Goddesses.
Woodman states, “when you’re living honestly and maturely with someone you love, there are moments in which God quietly enters…When we stick with someone, we know there’s going to be fighting; there are going to be situations that will require immense patience; and there are going to be huge disappointments. But individuation – finding one’s true self – cannot occur without relationship.”
Married to her partner for over fifty years, Woodman believes in the concept of a destiny partner, and if you’ve married yours, you will know that you should keep working on the relationship. How do you know if you are with your destiny partner? “This person hooks you in your unconscious, and gradually you realize that the ego can’t challenge the energy that’s keeping you together. It’s soul energy, and the soul is eternal…What the ego wants is tiny compared to what the soul wants, and there comes a point when we recognize this, and we surrender to soul, to God.”
Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung, believed the unconscious contains an impetus to move toward wholeness and it creates challenges for us so we will grow. Woodman says this turns the standard image of love “on its head.” When we finally come to the place when what we know and believe about our partner is shattered, we will have to make a decision to stay or leave. “With our destiny partner, we find that it’s more painful to leave than to stay. The hook remains in, and it pulls us deeper and deeper into the relationship, where we get into bigger and bigger issues, but we stay because we know that we’ve chosen the right person with whom to do this work,” she explains.
The idea of a destiny partner still carries the notion of a right partner, while dispelling the myth of the perfect one where we live happily ever after. Progressive Libra at The Turning of the Ages seeks to join with another from a place of consciousness and equality. It invites us to dive deeply into committed partnership to reveal to us, the truth of who we are. Our partners are mirrors reflecting our multifaceted beings and it is here, by embracing the totally of who we are, that we are complete. We are whole. It is in this place, that we come to know God.
Your Divine Blueprint 